What REALLY goes on in their Heads?
by Dragon of Athena
Summary: Summary inside.
1. Chapter 1

Title: What REALLY goes on in their heads?

Rating: K+

Genre: Humour/Romance

Summary: Character Thought Drabbles, it's a bit like a diary. NS, CW, G? Quite a LOT of ooc-ness, you are warned!

Author: Dragon of Athena

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI in any way, shape OR form, well, if you count the DVDs; then yes, I own seasons 1, 2 & 3. Do you really think that if I was connected to CSI in any way (except for being a fan) would I really be writing FANfic?

Chapter 1- June 29th, 2006

Nick's Thoughts of the Day 

Yee-Haw! Damn y'all that was a damn good day o'work there! We caught the bad guys and their pillaging of the sarsaparilla…er…money. That wasn't all though, I got the Cow-Girl of my dreams. Just wait til' Ma'n'Pa hear about it! Best damn day of my life!

This news'll get my family in the barn dancin' ALL night long. I love that girl so much I'd follow her to hell and back just to see her brunette hair again. I found the best ring I could because all the other ones are beneath her, she's more precious than all the diamonds in the world, I just hope she like the one I got for'her. I asked my darlin' Sara to marry me and she said,

" yes!"

Best damn day of my life! Grissom was freakin' me out, not so grand but hey, with sunshine you gotta have the shadows and shade.

Catherine's Thoughts of the Day 

Do these pants make me look fat? I wonder if my top was low-cut enough so EVERYONE noticed? I definitely turned Warrick's head, well, I think anyway. I also wonder if my hair was too flat, I mean I scrunched it up to make it 'FWOOF' and I hair sprayed and gelled it, but I still like, think, like, it needed a little something extra….

Today was SO boring! I mean so what if Nicky proposed to Sara, what about ME! Where was my drama of the day? I mean for goodness' sake, Lindsay didn't even get into trouble, I guess my bribes aren't enough anymore; maybe tomorrow I'll spread some juicy gossip about my dad, Sam. That'll definitely bring me into the spotlight. There's no way in hell Nick and Sara are gonna steal my thunder….

Maybe tomorrow I'll cross the line and make the low-cut of my blouse even lower. Mwahahaha! Grissom was really scaring me I wonder why he was doing that to those bugs, but I'm pretty sure it was illegal!

Warrick's Thoughts of the Day 

Could Catherine's hair get any bigger? However, she is a nice piece of ass, why does she obsess about it being too big, that's a GOOD thing. I'm so happy about Nick and Sara getting married, Nick came up to me with the prospect of being best-man however, due to my placement in Subplot Basement C, I probably wont even get the screen-time to be shown in the scene. Maybe I'll take up gambling again to get a little bit of attention. I'm just as good as Catherine or Griss, maybe even better, I WILL escape the basement. I will escape. It's official Grissom is looney-tunes.

Sara's Thoughts of the Day 

OMG! OMG! OMG! He proposed, Nick proposed to me today—oh yeah and we solved the case of the missing money. The butler did it. Now I'm gonna have to think about wedding dresses and planning. Yay, I get to be the bride. Nick gave me a massive rock, it was like a glacier of ice (but not cold, just really big) and it was sparkly and everything; must've cost a fortune. I love him so much, ooh sparkly, sorry about that; got into a daze, I was hypnotised.

I think Grissom was higher than the Mile-High club with all the stunts he was pulling.

Grissom's Thoughts of the Day 

Bugs. Insects. Ants. Cockroaches. Creepy-crawlies. I love them all, I'm IN love with them, my heart and soul I'm theirs forever. I'm not crazy I swear, it's everyone else that's crazy, they can never take my bugs away from me. Never!

It's everyone else that's insane! Conrad says that if I do that thing with my bugs one more time, he's breaking up with me. I love my Ecklie-Poo so much as well as my bugs, but, BUT, Oh I don't know, do I keep my comrade Conrad as my lover or do I split for my bugs. Waaaahhhhhh, I don't know!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

A/N:

Stay Tuned for tomorrow's episode…I mean chapter. Well, that was my stab at humour, but I think I missed and it all went horribly wrong, it went right into me, and now there's blood everywhere and now I'm gonna have to buy some stain remover from the shop, but it's closed and I don't have a fiver on me anyway, so reviewers and all the other blokes and lasses that read this… Whadd'ya think?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2- June 30th, 2006

Nick's Thoughts of the Day

Damn! Didn't I tell it right? The homestead went crazy, I even reckon tha' they shot the gun in the air a couple o'times. Well, I be damned about what happened today, Warrick has gone missing, last time I saw him was yesterday, askin'im about bein' the bestman at me'n'Sara's weddin'. Then he started talking about bein' stuck in some sort'a basement. I got kinda confused and went off, but I saw the script-writers in mental institution jackets (and lookin' kinda mental, you know the sort) take'im away. Oh well, I'll go look for'im later.

Yesterday, I heard that Grissom was going out with Ecklie, well, with all that shouting…. Sorry 'bout that- almost forgot to put the southern twang in my accent in every sentence; I 'eard that Griss was goin' out with Icky Ecklie n' with all that fightin' an' all, it must've been because of all those damn bugs again. Damn the bugs to HELL! They ruin everythang! 'Nd what was up with Catherine's shirt, it was like she wasn't even wearin' one!

Catherine's Thoughts of the Day

I wonder who noticed that I wasn't even like, like, wearing a shirt at all, it was just a jacket with a few Gucci buttons, I had to button up because Grissom said it was to retain my modesty. I just get these URGES to take off my clothes and dance around a pole, I wonder why…. Oh yeah, I remember now! Hehehe, almost forgot I was a stripper when I was younger, and had flatter hair and paler make-up. Those were my dark days I feel, but now I'm like a life-size Barbie, and I come complete with 7 New Catchphrases!

I was looking for Warrick today, but I couldn't find him anywhere, maybe he broke up with his wife and needed some time to recuperate. Cath 4 Warrick 4 lyf3!

I SO want him.

Sara's Thoughts of the Day

OMG! OMG! OMG! I'm still reeling from yesterday. I'd tell all my family and friends but my Mom killed my Dad, and she's gone off, I probably have a little brother somewhere that'll just be drugged up and will be smelly and I don't want him at the wedding anyway if he's gonna be smelly, and I've got no friends outside work because I'm such a tight-ass; but hey, I'm STILL happy!

The idea of spending my life with my Texan Cowboy thrills me to new extents, so much so I'll probably go really kinky, especially my hair, and my personality, but I don't give a toss about that pile of crap – personality, NOT hair, my hair is the one good true thing in this world, besides Nick and the Earth of a Rock of a Ring he got me. I looked at this wedding dress today and nearly convulsed at the price! It cost $20,000, but it was PERFECT. Everything about it, absolutely everything, just about the only thing wrong with it is that I wasn't in it.

I've totally got to have it but Nicky says,

"A weddin' lasts like an hour, our marriage lasts forever,"

Which is just a cheap-ass way of saying I can't have it. He might as well of said,

"I haven't got the money, why don't we look at the second hand stuff that's sellin' out of that caravan?"

Such a shame really, but I will have it in the end, I'm a CSI, I know how to search for evidence, so it also means that I know that other CSIs wont know WHERE to look for evidence, because they've already searched the protocol areas, which means I'll get away with thieving the dress without getting caught, and nobody will be the wiser, except me because I know, that they don't know I know how to manipulate the evidence.

Where's Wally? Is he in the crowd surrounding the clown in the part of the circus or is he stuck in Sub-plot basement C trying to escape? Oops, I meant Warrick, I was reading a Where's Wally book and got dazed by the ring, and it looked like Warrick was in it, quite surprising really because he didn't turn up to work today.

Warrick's Thoughts of the Day

It's dark and scary in here; I want my Grandmommy and my blankie! Is anyone looking for me? So far, I've tried banging against the walls with my head for freedom, but the walls are all squishy, and I just bounce back, there are also some other people, that look vaguely familiar to being the scriptwriters that took me in the first place. They seem to be calm and collected, they were also looking at me weirdly, as if they're planning something….

Grissom's Thoughts of the Day

I haven't made my decision about Ecklie yet; do I go with lots of little bugs or just one big one? There are so many pros and cons for each of them. I think I'll just break it off with the bugs after what happened yesterday, even I got a little weirded out with myself. My Conrad-y is the one for me! However, when I kissed my bugs they seemed to satisfy me more than Ecklie does when he kisses me. Yet, it is more socially acceptable, and even though 75 of the time I'm a robot, I do in fact like a little bit of attention, which I don't really get from bugs who just crawl over one another and fornicate.

Sometimes I wish I were a bug, I'd be really happy then.

Character Thoughts SPECIALS $2.99 each, Get 'Em while they're RED HOT!

Hodge's Thoughts of the Day

Kill Nick, kill Grissom, kill them ALL! I'm the best they should all bow down before me and lick my shoes clean. Maybe I should spare them some mercy and not mess with their evidence next time, yes putting trace amounts of cyanide to make it look like apples did the crime was funny when they explained it in court but, I mean they do a good job after all. NO, you fool! Take them out, just go steal Bobby's gun and make it look like he did it- or an accident. Well, What have they really done to me anyway?

Exactly! Puny little Hodgeling, it's what they HAVEN'T done! So far I haven't seen any shoe-licking, they deserve to be shot for it. Don't be like that! No, YOU don't be like that. I wonder why people look at me weirdly in the lab…

Greg's Thoughts of the Day

Dude, where's my coffee? COFFEE! They don't get that it's MY COFFEE! Everyday they come into the break room with their worthless mugs and expect it be filled up with MY coffee! Arrgggghhhhhh! GregSandersmon digivolve to GregSandersmon; HULK-mode. I will obliterate them using; Pepper Breath, 'Pwaa.'

Maybe I spend too much time playing my games? I'm sleepy.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

A/N:

'And in the end she woke up and it was ALL a dream'…. sorry, wrong story. Well, hoped you liked that chapter. It turns out I DID have a fiver on me, but it was bloodied up so badly they probably wouldn't have accepted anyway. I'll write the next chapter soon! I'd just like to say a quick thanks to: forensicsfan, HoneyLynx86 and alleycatabra!


End file.
